I Hate Everyone

"I hate everyone." - D. L. in Rota, Spain (October, 2002).

Day 333. The dinosaur is protesting the blog tonight. Hopefully we will come to a compromise in time to revise and update tomorrow.

The Dinosaur Whisperer triumphs again.  Just remember:  calm, assertive energy (which, incidentally, combines well with Control, Alt, Delete).

(Transposed from handwritten blog):  It occurs to to me that the quote chosen for today may seem mildly (wildly?) inappropriate, it being the first day of a new year and all.  Ah, well, I calls 'em as I sees 'em (What is the deal with me and cliches lately? I thought the craft of writing was supposed to IMPROVE with practice!)

This particular quote is, at a deeply personal level, highly significant for me.  It was said by someone I met while teaching at Rota, near the southern coast of Spain.  As anyone who has been to Spain can attest, the rules of engagement are different there.  I'm not even sure if gravity works the same.  Las Vegas isn't the only place where "what happens (there) stays (there)."  Suffice it to say, it was in Spain that I embarked upon a brief period in time that was Austenistic in scope.  Imagine the scenario if you crossed Lizzie and Mr. Darcy with a plot from a movie starring Johnny Depp and Ellen Page.  Nelly would write the sound track.  Yeah.  Like that.

I knew I was in too deep when, early in the first evening we spent together, he said the (now infamous) words: "The thing is, I hate everyone."  The moment has been frozen in time.  It might be relevant to note that the words were spoken by someone pursuing a Masters degree in Human Relations.  Addressed to a doctor in psychology. I reverberated from the depths of my soul.

Both us would infinitely scoff at smarmy terms like "soul mate" and "kindred spirit" and "he/she completes/gets me."   In fact, we hate everyone who utilizes those words in anything other than a sardonic and sarcastic context.  However, eight years later, we remain connected by some bizarrely strong ties that bind.  All the more unthinkable when I mention that we have seen each other in person exactly once (for about two minutes) during those eight years.  We both loathe FaceBook and e-mail.  Never used Skype.  Go for months with no contact whatsoever.

Yes, our rules of engagement are unconventional.  Yes, it is rare that the phrase "I hate everyone" becomes a foundation upon which to base a long term relationship.  Nevertheless, on days like today, when I am filled with loathing for all sentient beings and most non-sentient things, it is good to know that someone gets me.  Unconditionally.  No form, no sensation, no perception, no formation, no consciousness . . . neither ignorance nor extinction of ignorance . . . no suffering, no cause, no cessation, no path, no knowledge and no attainment.*  I don't have to explain this feeling state to him at all.  And I don't plan on explaining it to anyone now.

Gasho,

CycleBuddhaDoc

*quoted from the Heart of Great Perfect Wisdom Sutra, San Francisco Zen Center.