A Good Combo

" . . . It's like everybody is moving, and not thinking." - N.A.T. on 12/8/2010

Day 356.  Tonight's blog marks an extremely significant milestone:  10 Remaining Blogs.  Ten, TEN, TEN!!  This marker makes all the "fractions thereof" I referred to over the past year pale by comparison.   Let the countdown begin!

Today I received a meaningful compliment from a dedicated reader.  She acknowledged my effort over the past year, and validated the accomplishment of keeping my commitment to write a blog every day.  She also offered her congratulations at the impending completion of the year.  Gassho, B.F. for your kind words.  I received them with much love and gratitude.  Thank you for another reminder of how good it feels to be on the receiving end of kindness.

I have an escalating sense of elation as my birthday draws near.  I cannot tell you what I am elated about, especially since I have so fully accomplished not feeling attached to any particular outcome for the blog (I write, with a deep sigh and simultaneous sarcastic chuckle).  Emotions of liberation and relief bubble up from my hippocampus as I anticipate some extra time at the end of my day.  I don't know how I will allocate the time.  I can't help but wonder if my sex life will be impacted when I no longer crawl into bed two hours after my partner retires.  One thing I know for certain:  my partner also has an emerging sense of elation as my birthday creeps closer -- and he can tell you EXACTLY what he is elated about!

Today was a good one for being a shrink.  My office was resplendent with Zen energy.  My answer for all that ailed my clients boiled down to radical acceptance of what Is.  Closing the gap between Reality and their Preferred Version of It.  When I am centered in that knowledge, it is much easier for me to access it with my clients.

Perhaps this is a current bias and/or filter through which I hear and interpret client's depictions of their suffering, but it feels as though they are overwhelmed with the pace and complexity of life.  The yardstick with which we gauge expectations and make comparisons has become horribly miscalibrated.  I used the example of the "working person's paradigm" from the 1950's through the '80's or so.  It was acceptable to conceptualize a work day as lasting about eight or nine hours.  It was also acceptable to experience and label a day in which one worked that amount of time as a full and complete day -- one deserving of rest and ease during what remained of it.  The caricature is something along the lines of Ward Cleaver, who boldly strode through his door each weeknight with an air of loving entitlement that June fix him a drink (although, come to think of it, did the Cleavers ever have alcohol in their home?), prepare his dinner, and leisurely process the days' events.

Metaphorically, today's yardstick seems to have lengthened from 36 inches to . . . oh, say around 48.  The current paradigm might be attainable if somehow we could stretch the amount of hours in a day from 24 to 38 or so.   I have many clients who conceptualize their "day" as 8 to 10 hours of "formal" work followed by two to three of additional obligatory activity followed by two to four hours of some medium of recreational interaction and connection.  By my math, that approximates 16 hours of dedicated time out of our allocated 24 per day.  Some people thrive with this ratio.  For many others, it seems to bear a price tag in the amount of, "Stop the world I want to get off."  Sometimes I feel like we are all seven-year olds twirling feverishly on the playground.  We intentionally spin and spin and spin, and then - even when we stand still - we feel dizzy as the outer world keeps whirling frenziedly around us.  As kids, a lot of us liked the sensation, which is probably why we twirled around like maniacs all the time.  Now it makes me nauseous.

A wise and observant client uttered tonight's quote during a session last month.  She said it in the context of her job, in which she works as a high ranking administrative official for a huge international agency.  I immediately jotted it down.  I think she inadvertently described the essence of all that ails the world.  We are moving, and not thinking.  It is a bad combination.  Moving and thinking probably go best together.  On the other hand, not moving and not thinking are a wonderful combination.  I am headed to my cushion to practice that combo right now.

Gassho,
CycleBuddhaDoc