Picture Me Flying

With the ideal comes the actual, like a box and its lid. In darkness there is light, but you will not understand it by one-sided darkness alone. In light there is darkness, but you will not understand it by one-sided light. The two go together like the sequence of steps in a dance. - The Sandokai in the Zen Calendar (May 23, 2002)

Day 50. The big Five Oh. When I turn the big Five Oh, I'll be finished with this blog. I think. Although this could be habit forming . . . .

My brother sent me some pictures of our recent ski trip. In my favorite picture, he captured me at the height of a jump in the ski park. I am illuminated against a brilliant blue sky; packed powder beneath me, ski poles askance, my face beaming. The day before, my twelve-year-old nephew and I had enjoyed several runs down this section of the mountain. He is a fearless, skillful snowboarder who, with patient amusement, showed his ancient aunt how to attempt multiple jumps in single descents through the park. He hurtled off the biggest ledges; I caught air on the smaller ramps. We had a blast. My brother remarked the next day, after following us down the run, "Well, crap. When I saw you doing the jumps, I knew I had to try them, too." I am seven years older. Still happy to inspire my baby brother to keep up with me.

The picture that didn't get snapped was my landing on that particular, spectacular jump. Actually, landing is a misnomer: splattering would be a more accurate description. I didn't keep my skis parallel during the jump and hit the snow off balance, resulting in a rolling snowball with some ski tips sticking out. Laughing from inside the snowy heap, I asked my brother, "Did you get me in the air?" He replied, "I don't know, but I got a picture of something!"

Looking at the enlargement of the pretty jump picture on my computer, my ego shimmered with gratification. What an extremely cool pic! My Buddha self then chuckled with insight: what a flagrantly incomplete portrayal of the actual event! What a classic journalistic spin on my athletic prowess. Lotta yin, no yang! The thrill of victory minus the agony of defeat. Pardon the pun, but, uh, you get the picture.

I've been thinking today about how often we either aren't provided with the entire picture, and/or we choose (consciously or not) to avoid seeing things as they completely, fully, are. My hunch is that, if I were a FaceBook proprietor (it will never happen, but this is a hypothetical point) I would paste up the smiley jump picture and conveniently fail to mention the splat that followed. It seems that as a culture we publicly depict fairly unidimensional aspects of ourselves. The themes of FaceBook pictures can probably be summarily captured within the categories of: Success, happiness, prosperity, popularity, achievement, travel, love, and lust. I'm not a seasoned perusor of computer social networks, but in my limited exposure there seems to be a dirth of photos with themes of despair, worry, failure, loss and disappointment.

This leaves us with a skewed picture about the reality of things. If we aren't careful, we end up with aspirations and models that are not remotely attainable (for those of us still stuck in the quest for attainment). Reaching for the unreachable is seldom a gratifying pursuit. Not to mention that keeping up appearances is exhausting. I am grateful for the central teaching of Buddhism that reminds us to see things as they really are. With the ideal comes the actual. What a relief.

It is tempting to spin my blog so that I appear to be a dedicated, patient, devoted student of Buddhism who blissfully sits, reads, chants, and blogs. One day I will post the jump picture so that my vast audience can picture me flying. And right after that, picture me tumbling into a human snowball. That's the whole picture.

Gassho,
CycleBuddhaDoc