Proliferous Profundities

"I had coffee so now I'm profound." - Sharin, my Pilates teacher (March 11, 2010)

Day 37. I got to mountain bike today -- on a work day! I feel like I've stolen the crown jewels and gotten away with it. Life is good.

Short blog tonight. I'm preparing for a trip (and taking my blog on the road for the first time. Hope I can find a computer!) I was stretched out on my reformer during Pilates class this afternoon, and my teacher uttered the brilliant statement quoted above. She was revved up, all right. I burst out laughing when she said it, and told her I would be quoting her on my blog. Sharin was so hyped on caffeine, I think the honor was lost on her.

Most nights, when I first begin to sit, I feel like Sharin did today. My mind starts racing, and at first it seems like profoundly significant epiphanies are streaming through my consciousness. Titles of blogs drop from my cerebellum like Georgia peaches in the spring. As I continue to breathe, however, and usher my ego out of the limelight, the profundity of my ideas plummets. (By the way: Peak Experience! I wasn't even aware that I knew the word "profundity" - it just flowed from my fingertips. I looked it up, and it's exactly what I wanted to express!) As I ease deeper into meditation, the carefully calibrated yardstick with which I evaluate my thoughts fades and then disappears entirely. Interestingly, this is usually when genuinely profound things surface. Not when I'm revved up, but when I'm very, very quiet. When I don't prematurely get puffed up over my brilliance. When my ego is hushed and my soul takes the limelight. When I disappear from myself.

I avoid coffee most of the time because my ADD twelve-lane autobahn of a brain races along too fast without stimulants. It gets loud, and my mouth emits words before I can arrange them properly, or (better yet) swallow them. The marvelous thing about sitting is that you don't have to be profound. You just breath. And try to sit real still.

Gassho,
CycleBuddhaDoc