"I took all my Christmas stuff down last night." - Sharla, my business partner, after hearing from another family member that her daughter and two grandchildren were not coming for Christmas.
Day 316. I just finished an aerobic gluten-free baking extravaganza. Literally. I think my heart was in its target zone. Meticulously wheat-free Christmas baking is not for the wimpy. Concentration, laser focus, and quick reflexes are minimal requirements. And that is BEFORE I opened the 37 teensy packages of rice flour in order to have the five cups required for my evening ambitions. When I paused to take a blogging break the clock read 9:11. I think it was a sign.
I suspect it is highly diagnostic that I chose my business partner's comment for tonight's quote. She uttered it during some rare, precious, late-evening moments after a long workday when we actually crossed paths in the business office. I won't be revealing the personal details surrounding the quote. Suffice it to say, she meant it. Sharla truly did take all of her Christmas decorations down last night. She told me so in a succinct and matter-of-fact tone. I imagine because she knew she could. I got it with every fiber of my being.
Speaking from my personal perspective, I have as yet this season to cross paths with anyone who is experiencing the holiday as something other than an aggravating, stressful interruption to their already challenging lives. Intriguing. I could postulate innumerable hypotheses for this phenomena, but it isn't rocket science. It feels to me like we're all tired. A little blue. Overwhelmed and under inspired. The cultural replenishment-to-depletion ratio seems to be tipped in the direction of depletion. I think we all need a big sigh and a long nap.
I respect and admire Sharla for acting congruently with a disappointing twist of Reality. I know for a fact her Preferred Version of the holiday season included a visit from her daughter. We shared an intimate moment of connectedness when she mentioned that she took everything down and I said that I totally understood. It was tempting to point out that at least she had put UP something to have to take DOWN. That is more than a lot of us have done. What seemed important and somehow quintessentially healthy was that she wasn't going to expend energy "acting" a certain way, keeping up a facade, or faking feeling states that weren't genuine. Sharla, with a characteristic Bodhisattva response, is dwelling smack in the midst of Reality. She may be a holiday model for us all.
In this moment, I don't know what my Preferred Version of the holiday season is. I am fairly certain, however, that it includes a sigh and a nap.
Gassho,
CycleBuddhaDoc
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