Little Glitches

"We have a little glitch. . . . . . do you have any mesh in your car?" My surgeon to the doctor assisting her. (December 9, 2010).

Day 310. Surgery this morning. I elected not to be put all the way under, but next time I may rethink that. Surgery isn't the best place to practice mindfulness, alertness, or even wakefulness, for that matter. Mainly because I could hear everything going on. At first, that was kinda cool; I got to participate in the process (not to mention the other doc was a former mountain biker - if I hadn't had a mouth full of stainless steel instruments, think of the stories I could have told!) Being awake had been going along swimmingly until I heard my surgeon utter her blogworthy quote. "There's a glitch," isn't exactly what you want to hear if you are the glitchee.

My sinus was perforated, which necessitated an unanticipated repair, which necessitated eight weeks healing time for the "glitch," which necessitated scheduling another surgery to do what they were supposed to be doing today. I had them pencil me in for February 8th. They first suggested February 3rd, but I thought surely I can find a better way to spend my 50th birthday. So we're waiting until the 8th. Whoopee. At least I won't be blogging about it!

It was humorous to watch the Monkeys bumbling through my drug-clouded brain, trying to figure out why "mesh" was being requested, and why it might be in the car. I guess the doc assisting mine travels to different surgical offices and keeps an odd square of mesh or two in his car. The mesh must have been located, and was combined with cow achilles tendon to fix the perforations. Very cool. Another version of being interconnected with the universe. I didn't register that the rest of the plan had been abandoned until I saw and heard the surgeon begin to stitch things back up. At that point I inquired (with my best ventriloquist effort) about the bone grafting. That's when the doctor told me that working with sinus is like manipulating wet tissue paper, and she "liked to be conservative" when they tear. Read between the lines: Done for today; you'll be coming back for more.

Not exactly my Preferred Version for today's outcome. I sort of had my sights set on the Reality where I am back on the bike by next weekend. I still may be, and will just plan for another temporary interruption in February. Thank the Buddha for a strong zazen practice. It's so efficient to bypass all of the analyzing, questioning, regretting, second guessing, and being attached to things going better, etc. that may have flooded my consciousness a year ago. Now I can just flop down smack in the middle of Reality, and try to remember to schedule the right days off in February. It is what it is. Glitches and all.

Gassho,
CycleBuddhaDoc