What Would Buddha Do?

The only thing that we can know is that we know nothing and that is the highest flight of human reason. - Leo Tolstoy in the Zen Calendar (November 9, 2006).

Day 105. I'm not sure what it means, but it seems as though since I've reached these triple digit days of blogging, it's all gone to crap. Oh well. I'll blog through it.

This is total free association: I just took a look at tonight's blog title, and wondered if I would start a revolution if I wore a bracelet that said, "WWBD?" Just a thought. If there are any market savvy readers out there, share what you think. I'm thinking the color of our band should be teal. Or a close shade of aquamarine. Something sort of Caribbean-esque. Soothing, peaceful. You get the idea.

I will write a short blog tonight because I am consumed with anger, which is what precipitated the title. The topic and the target are not significant; it is the velocity of my rage that aroused my curiosity. I thought about Buddha's human existence, and began to wonder if he ever had some moments, before and/or after enlightenment, when he felt like saying, "Are you f***ing kidding me?" On the one hand, I want to believe that after enlightenment he just gave his knowing and mysterious Buddha smile, radiated compassion, and perhaps briefly registered the utility of non-attachment. On the other hand, I would identify with him to a greater degree if I knew there were times he teetered on the edge of passionate anger emanating from strong conviction. The psychologist in me is reaching the conclusion that he undoubtedly experienced human emotion, but likely took the higher road when it came to his actions. I may have just answered the WWBD question.

I'm hoping I took a somewhat higher road in response to my molten-hot, marrow-melting, anaerobic heart beat anger this evening. I walked away. I didn't say anything other than, "I'm walking away." I sensed the futility of engaging in dialogue at the moment. My radical acceptance of the present reality included absolute certainty that no productive discussion was possible. There are precious few provocations of this kind of fury in me. I have progressed a great deal in curbing judgment in myself; however, I find it virtually impossible to remain nonjudgmental about judgmental individuals and systems. I want to be there, but I'm not. So much more to learn. So much more to practice.

What DID Buddha do in the face of utter stupidity? That kind of dogmatic, fear-based, stagnant, "I-don't-have-to-provide-any-rationale-this-is-just-how-I-feel-and-I-won't-listen-to-much-less-consider-evidence-to-the-contrary" kind of ignorance. That "I-can't-think-for-myself-but-someone-behind-a-pulpit-or-in-a-self-appointed-place-of-authority-told-me-so-so-it-must-be-true-because-I-don't-want-to-think-for-myself-or-deal-with-any-cognitive-dissonance-because-then-I-would-have-to-address-my-authoritarian-parental-issues" stance. That intolerant, foreclosed upon, developmentally regressed impasse.

I bet Buddha was patient and compassionate and detached. I bet (post enlightenment) he was accepting and peaceful and serene in the knowledge that there is no separation; that we are all One; that Big Mind is not distracted by the illusion of differences and division. I bet he modeled these Truths and stuck around for a really long time to teach them to others.

I'm not there yet. I want to be, but I'm not. At least I know that I know nothing. My intent remains intact. I think WWBD is a good mantra with which to pause and consider. I hope one day this lava in my veins is replaced by a compassionate flow. Meanwhile, I'm keeping my butt on my cushion.

Gassho,
CycleBuddhaDoc