Crowding Out The Pause

"How're your legs?"
"Shit. Yours?"
"Same."
- Entire conversation during a 34-mile tandem ride with my partner (January, 2010)

Day Ten. The Big One-Oh. Very Cool.

There are some places (experiences, occasions, encounters, occurrences) where words do not belong. Unfortunately, the default for most of us lies not in silence, but in word production. Take, for example, my attempt to get words to my experience of "dwelling in the pause" during yesterday's blog entry. When I sat on my cushion last night, I couldn't help but bring some kind of expectation - a bloated anticipation - of what The Pause would offer. Not surprisingly, (nothing startles us in hindsight!) I could barely sense the pause at all. The assignment of words, and the ensuing analysis and reflection, crowded out the pause. It filled up the space where I "lived" the pause while sitting last night. I revisited a lesson learned long ago: there is an important distinction between effort and flow. Both processes are necessary in life, but the one can preclude the other. No amount of effort could recreate the sensation I had entered previously. As the country western song I so often quote says, "This ain't no thinkin' thang. . . . ."

Lesson learned. There will be sacrifices in the year to come as I balance the living of my practice with the recording of my blog. I'm closing early to go watch Opening Ceremonies for the Winter Olympics. I'd write something about it, but from the glimmers I've caught so far, there are no words.

Gassho,
CycleBuddhaDoc