Everything is Waiting For You

Your great mistake is to act the drama as if you were alone . . .
Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into the conversation . . .
Everything is waiting for you. - Excerpted from "Everything is Waiting for You" by David Whyte.

Day 248. Today my son elected to grace his hometown (not to be confused with his birthplace) with his presence. I am delighted, though there is not a speck of gluten-free food in the house. The dinosaur exhibited a bizarre form of electronic sibling rivalry and refused to allow me access to my blog site. How can something formed of silicon and microchips possibly detect my son's presence? It would be humorous if I could get past how creepily often this phenomena of computer mood swings coincides with my son's visits. He is, most assuredly, a force with which to be reckoned.

Toward the end of the David Whyte video, he recited his poem "Everything is Waiting for You." He followed the recitation with a brief talk about the meaning of the poem. I emerged from the awestruck state he had inspired in me from the moment he walked onto the stage in San Francisco, and heard the one sentence I can accurately recall from the entire video: "Take the first step. Don't worry about the the second step or the third step. Just take the first step out into your life."

This is not exactly an original suggestion. It was not delivered in a particularly theatrical or impassioned manner (though Whyte, with his lovely accent and irrepressible presence, certainly held his audience spellbound). I believe the words cut through me because my being was poised at that precise moment to receive them.

Perhaps beginning the blog was my way of "easing into the conversation." It is certainly my biggest leap into the cyberpublic domain thus far. Writing and sitting have led to connection with (at present!) 21 Followers and the sangha at the dojo, both of which are amazing opportunities through which to engage in conversation. Through subtle calibrations the universe doles out in increments that are tolerable to my psyche, I am grasping that I am not alone in the drama. It boggles my mind to imagine what my life holds as I learn to put down the weight of my aloneness.

Today I took another "first step" into my life. I am choosing not to disclose the details; suffice it to say it was action that needed to occur in order for me to live an authentic existence. There had been an incongruousness between a certain aspect of my life and the Being that is evolving as this year unfolds (this sounds more juicy than the circumstances actually are). The action took much courage and ongoing repetition of the mantra: "Reality isn't good or bad. It just is. Reality isn't good or bad. It just is . . . " followed by the echo of David Whyte's words: "Take the first step. Take the first step out into your life."

I am now wholly, completely, and indisputably at home. Literally and figuratively. As I took the steps to make that happen, a bizarre elation infused me, growing in wattage with each trip between the Xterra and my front door. I have come Home. Everything is waiting for me.

Gassho,
CycleBuddhaDoc