Impeccable in My Word

Be impeccable in your word. - Don Miguel Ruiz in "The Four Agreements" (2001).

Day 244. During my walk this evening, I found two pennies. It reminded me of the blog in which I wrote about my two cents worth. Sometimes it feels like this year is flying by. Other times, it feels like I wrote that blog about a thousand years ago. Also on this walk, I stopped right in the middle of the road to fiddle with my watch band. It took me about two seconds to realize that I had just acted like a dumbass; I had literally committed one of the maneuvers I described with such loathing last night. I quickly moved to stand by the curb. What a humbling reminder that Karma can come back FAST!

In a session today, I had the opportunity to explain the idea of being impeccable in your word. This did not occur in a moralizing context; rather, we were discussing how to use mindfulness to say "Yes" only when there is a high likelihood that you intend to keep your word. I noted that I particularly like the phrase because of Ruiz's elegant wording. "Being impeccable" sounds important and prestigious. It also sounds somewhat daunting.

Technology and culture enable us to stray far from being impeccable in our word. I have mentioned before how convenient it has become to blame our failure to behave ethically, or at least courteously, on technology: "I didn't get your message (phone turned off, lost my charger, computer wouldn't boot, cyber-traffic jam, Blackberry dementia . . . .") The excuses are endless. We avoid contact through caller ID, and cowardly rely upon text messaging to deliver content that should never have transpired outside of an actual human interaction. Volumes are being written about the psychological ramifications of computer social networking. Suffice it to say, they are mechanisms that have evolved into a boundless medium through which individuals can disappoint and betray one another. Delight and connect with each other as well. A mixed blessing, indeed.

I have observed that caring and responsible people unintentionally struggle with being impeccable in their word because of the complexity of society. I've watched myself inadvertently accept four different invitations for approximately the same time span. Superficially, this appears to be exceedingly poor time management (I probably need a Blackberry). The irony is that, at the time each invitation was issued, my acceptance was genuine. I had every intention of keeping my word.

It is easy to automatically assume that duplicity accounts for the bulk of broken promises and failed commitments. Present society is much more tolerant of etiquette breaches than past generations. Popular television would lead one to believe that deception is culturally sanctioned. I believe there are a few additional ways to understand why people often say one thing and do another. Personally, I overestimate my energy level and time availability. I feel enthusiastic when I say "Yes" to something, and end up exhausted and/or overscheduled when it is time for the event. I have not perfected an accurate calculation method for my "interested-in-and-desire-to-support" and "actually-able-to-be-there-and-contribute" ratio.

It is very important to me to increasingly be impeccable in my word. The concept reminds me of Andy Griffith and Pa Ingalls - times when a firm handshake would seal a deal. Zazen practice is conducive to improving my ability to faithfully keep my word. Mindfulness - of reality, my priorities, and my limits - is increasing the accuracy with which I can match my "Yes" answers to "yes" actions. It results in saying "Yes" less and "No" more, which still feels a little squirmy for me. Yet somehow, for 244 days, I have been impeccable in my word to sit and blog. That doesn't feel squirmy at all.

Gassho,
CycleBuddhaDoc