Overflow Parking

In the zazen posture, your mind and body have great power to accept things as they are, whether agreeable or disagreeable. - Shunryu Suzuki in Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind.

Day 215. Peak Experience! I adore being almost a half century old (such a nice, round number - I can't wait!) and still getting to do things for the first time. This morning, I went on my first doughnut ride. I figured any event that included both bicycles and doughnuts in the description was worth checking out. I also cautiously anticipated that a ride centered around hydrogenated oil-soaked pastries was likely to be executed at a slower pace than the oxygen gulping odysseys the EZ Riders put me through. I was right.

You would think that a day made up of elements including a 40-mile leisurely tour through much of Oklahoma City, lakeside lunch with new cycling friends, sale of the old tandem (yahoo!) to said friends, a lengthy nap, and a dog romp with canines who actually came when I called would result in a positive feeling state. No so. I am blue. Void of words - spoken and written. Melancholy as hell. Head full of Monkeys posing as amateur psychologists, each espousing a different theory regarding the etiology of my despondency. I wish they would shut up. I have several degrees hanging on a wall as evidence that I can formulate my own explanation for plummeting moods if I so desire. I so do not desire. Sometimes you just want to feel like crap.

Besides, it doesn't take Freud for Dummies to postulate a rationale for how I'm feeling. Today was the first football game at my son's university. Not only was he absent from the sideline, where he characteristically would have been pacing up and down, shouting defensive strategy at his teammates, he is home recovering from the concussion he sustained yesterday. Yes, the irony is not lost on either of us. No, I am not going to disclose the cause of his (third) concussion. Suffice it to say, it had nothing to do with football.

There are times when my zazen practice is a dazzling light, irradiating my being like a brilliant diamond nestled just behind my breast bone. It's a form of bliss that is becoming increasingly familiar and substantive. It is difficult to avoid becoming attached to this feeling; bliss is a compelling emotion. Days like today are reminders that, in order to remain steadfast in practice, I must relinquish attachment to certain outcomes or perks resulting from zazen. Sitting erect on my cushion, holding that perfect oval mudra, I am learning to accept things as they are.

I've noticed on most university campuses there is a parking lot, usually located upwards of three miles from any building you would ever need to enter, called "Overflow." You end up there when you've exhausted the search for a space in the lot you paid a large sum of money to park in. Sometimes Reality shoots straight past disagreeable and temporarily parks in the Downright Crappy lot. It's even further away from where you desire to be than "Overflow." Fortunately, my zazen practice is like a reliable shuttle, showing up just when I need it to transport me to a different lot. It may or may not get me closer to campus, but it doesn't cost a thing.

Gassho,
CycleBuddhaDoc