Heating Up For Nothing

The way of Buddhas is wide open, without any stages. The door to liberation is the door of nothing. - Husan-Sha in the Zen Calendar (December 11, 2006).

Day 128. I understand why, historically, "progress" (as measured in Western terms) moves very slowly in countries near the equator. Hot, humid weather is conducive primarily to languidness. As the heat index in Oklahoma City exceeds 100 degrees, I am advancing towards the door of nothingness. When it opens, I am walking through.

I have made great progress in relinquishing my attachment to making progress (I adore Buddha Babble!) in my writing and my sitting. I find it significant that blog titles rarely rip through my brain at a rate of ten or twelve per second the way they did during the first few months I sat zazen. Since I increased my sitting time to 30 minutes, Nothing has been a more frequent visitor to my cushion. I don't think Nothingness and Enlightenment are synonymous; my mind and body - damn them both to hell - are still ever present. The Monkeys are by no means gone; rather, they mull around in the wings of my consciousness - no doubt reminiscing about the days they occupied center stage. I can't help but suspect that, on the path to Enlightenment, Nothingness may be at the trail head.

Nothingness seems to thrive on summertime like the Monkeys thrive when I ingest caffeine. The hotter it gets, the more sluggish my neurons fire. Writing gets shorter; naps grow longer. The production of words in my brain is slowing from a torrent to a trickle. During zazen last night, I heard only sporadic Monkey murmurs. The rest of the time I pretty much sat there. I think it's a safe assumption that I continued to breathe because time passed and I didn't find myself gasping or toppling over.

Zazen ended in a hilarious fashion. I am periodically engaging in brief dialogue with the newly discovered Voice of Reality. In the midst of nothingness last night, desire for the timer to go off floated up to consciousness. I watched the feeling for a few moments, and the Voice of Reality calmly noted, "A preference for zazen being over is floating through. All right. It's fine for that preference to linger here on the cushion a bit. I must point out, however, that having the thought and preference for time to be up in no way impacts the reality of 30 minutes taking 30 minutes. Keep sitting. The timer will go off when it goes -

Beep, beep beep! The timer sounded and I burst out laughing. Take that, Voice of Reality! Last night my preference for zazen ending and the reality of zazen ending DID line up. Coincidence? Maybe. Buddha chuckling? Absolutely. The beauty of Nothing is that there is room for Everything. Including those magic moments when ego slips through and Reality plays along.

Gassho,
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