Girls Rule!

"There's a part of me that I didn't even know I had until recently - instinct, intuition, whatever. It helps me and protect me. It's perceptive and astute. I just listen to the inside of me and I know what to do." - Inez, in the Women's Renewal Centre brochure.

Day 149. Nothing like a blog to serve as a cyber-confessional where you don't even have to get on your knees. Yes, I took off work yesterday afternoon to attend the opening day of Eclipse. Yes, I am a devoted member of Team Jake. No, I am not going to apologize. No, it absolutely doesn't matter if you don't know what the heck I am talking about. But if you do, feel free to post comments regarding your preference for the Pretty Pale Vampire versus the Tan Hunky Wolf Boy. This is, after all, about the only element of pop culture I can speak to.

I saw the movie with two wonderful women from my Pilates class. Our ages span about twenty years; I am in the middle. There is a certain kind of intimacy forged when you lay (mostly) on your back next to someone on a bizarre machine, sweating and straining and learning to manipulate body parts you didn't even know the name for. We went for a drink after the movie, and our conversation turned to a rash of divorces within our friendship circles. Some were tragic; some sounded like rebirth. We wondered aloud about marriages and partnerships that do and do not last. Expressing a belief similar to the quote above, my friend Jane noted, "You know. You always know. We have instincts that tell us what's right. Sometimes you don't act on it right away, but you still know."

I thought about that into the night. Tried to connect with what feels instinctive inside me right now. Thought about intuitive knowledge I did and did not trust in my past. Recalled when an instinct was life saving, particularly regarding who can be trusted. Tried to remember a time when instinct misled me on some important matter. Couldn't name one. Jane was right. We know. We always know.

Socialization tries to distract women from our instincts, especially in this backward-assed part of the country where "nice" is valued more than "smart" and "brave." We seem to be getting braver as we seek out one another and speak our truths, trusting one another, relying on one another. The second women quit competing and connect instead, familiar institutions blow apart. We don't have to tolerate situations that are harmful to us. We don't have to be afraid. We don't have to suffer. Connection gives us options. Sharing our truth sets us free.

I just read the former paragraph, and it reeks of the "F" word. Feminism, I learned from much public speaking, is highly suspect in Oklahoma. It continues to be erroneously synonymous with male hating, ball bashing, aggressive bitches. Incorrect. The majority of feminist writing and speaking I hear comes from a Pro Human - both genders - standpoint. Pro happiness and maturity and cooperation and community and connection. A lot like Buddhism.

Dang! I'm doing it again - waxing academic, writing from a sterile and clinical section of my cerebral cortex. Natalie Goldberg would not be pleased. What I really want to write about is how my office partners and I moved in our new file cabinets a couple of days ago. We were poetry in motion. We drove to the warehouse where we had purchased a couple of used cabinets. With assistance from the warehouse guys, we loaded them up in two cars and transported them the short distance to our office. We then located the building's community dolly and the three of us hefted those puppies up and out of the Xterra and carefully wheeled them down to our offices.

The process reminded me of the Summer Solstice dance we performed together a couple of weeks ago. We think and move and speak with this uncanny grace and ease: talking in a shorthand ripe with implicit comprehension, anticipating the others' moves, silently and effortlessly dividing the labor for the most efficient completion of the task. Simultaneously, we look out for one another and take care of each other. We don't do things like men do. And we don't care. It's not about hating men. It's not about being macho. With us, it comes down to a long friendship in which unconditional trust, faith, and understanding has formed. We aren't self-conscious about how we accomplish things. There is nothing to prove. There are no egos. The absolute most precious thing this decade of my 40's has taught me is to be comfortable in my skin. That, and the miraculous ability to pick women friends who are comfortable in theirs, too.

Gassho to the new and old women friends in my life. Your beauty is blinding. With you in my heart, all things are possible. Even a whole year dedicated to sitting and blogging. And whatever lies beyond.

Gassho,
CycleBuddhaDoc