Kissing Feet

Knowledge is the reward of action . . . For it is by doing things that one becomes transformed. Executing a symbolical gesture, actually living through, to the very limit, a particular role, one comes to realize the truth inherent in the role. - Heinrich Zimmer in the Zen Calendar (January 26, 2003).

Day 209. I just returned from my mother's 75th birthday celebration. She would be vehemently opposed to me disclosing her true age, especially in a public forum. I chose to post it anyway because: a) she doesn't own a computer and b) in case I haven't mentioned it before, I love anything easily represented in fractions. Three-quarters of a century is far too splendid a fraction to refrain from commenting. Remind me of that on my next birthday . . . . I printed out and read the recent blog titled "We Will Eat the Fruit" as part of my gift to her. I indulged a lot of ego when I elected (without an invitation) to read it aloud for the family. No worries. My mom has enough ego to love hearing anything in which she is the star.

A client shared the most lovely memory with me today. Almost thirty years ago, she was teaching in India and found out that the Dali Lama would be appearing in a village nearby. Resplendent with that delightful brashness granted to beings in their 20's, she and a friend went to the village and gained an audience with the Tibetan monks hosting His Holiness. Informing one of the senior monks that they taught at a school visited by the Dali Lama when he first fled Tibet, they formulated their desire to meet him. The monk gently, kindly suggested that perhaps it would be best if they spent some additional time studying Buddhism before they met the Dali Lama.

As luck would have it, the Dali Lama was making a public appearance a couple of days later. My client described the hundreds of Tibetans streaming down out of the mountains for Darshan - the "beholding of a deity." I read a little about Darshan and found two phrases that I particularly liked: "to see with reverence and devotion" and " an interaction in presence between devotee and guru." The people coming in off the mountains were true herdsmen and their families - long-haired, unkempt commoners consumed with worshipful devotion for His Holiness. Undoubtedly, this opportunity for Darshan with their most revered holy figure was the chance of a lifetime.

My client and her friend joined the teeming crowd lining the streets for an interaction in presence with the Dali Lama. She observed with some consternation that the fervored peasants were hitting the ground, bowing and kissing His feet as He passed by. Well-socialized Westerners that they were, both young women felt reluctance at mimicking this particular cultural expression of adoration. At the last second, one of the monks seamlessly intervened, explaining in perfect English who the women were, including their association with the school His Holiness had visited. In the perfect gesture of loving kindness, the Dali Lama shook hands with my client and her friend (talk about a Peak Experience!! I was speechless just hearing the tale recounted!)

This is the essence of Buddhism - of all spiritual practices emanating from One Great Love. The monks had no attachment to my client and her friend acting like anything other than what they were: two young women from the West with sincere intent and desire to participate in Darshan with the Dali Lama - without lying on the ground and kissing his feet. No judgment, no criticism, no expectation that they behave like the natives ("You are in our country; revere like the rest of us!"). Instead, accurate empathy and a timely, perfect show of compassion. "We recognize who you are and what you desire. We will assist with making that possible for you in a manner in which you are comfortable." Thus, an introduction and a handshake with His Holiness.

Loving kindness extends far beyond those acts that are effortlessly congruent with that which we prefer and agree. At its highest, compassion guides actions that are grounded in what is best for the other. Accurate empathy and anticipation of another being's feelings and needs is the foundation upon which loving kindness emanates. Oftentimes, this makes the action significantly more difficult than the concept. That's probably why most of us aren't monks.

Before I shave my head and relinquish my bike shorts for a robe (though I am contemplating doing just that at some point in my future), I am going to follow the monks' original advice to my client and her friend: Learn more about Buddhism. Study it. Practice it. Live it. Act with loving kindness as earnestly and consistently as possible. Even when it is difficult. Especially when it is difficult. And one day, maybe even Westerners will understand the beauty of kissing feet.

Gassho,
CycleBuddhaDoc